Three Great Things About The Zombie Apocalypse
Look, nobodies wants a zombie attack. People get killed, there is mass chaos and even if you do survive, you are looking at a constant threat of zombification. However, if you do survive the zobicaust, there can be good things about it. This is founded in our basic premise that you see at the end of every article. You need to stay informed, stay safe and stay alive. After that, here are some of the advantages. Sometimes you need to look hard for the silver lining, but it’s almost always there.
Here are 3 great things about the zombie apocalypse:
- Population. It’s a cruel fact that the Earth is overpopulated. People die from starvation and regular disease everyday. When the big zombie jamboree happens, there will be a lot less human beings on the Earth. That means more to go around. If you have been preparing, things like power plants going offline and the lack of supermarkets will not be a problem. The air will be cleaner, the roads not so crowded (maybe with bones and abandoned cars) and no lines at theme parks (which you should probably hit up before all the power everywhere fails).
- Life. Life will mean something. We live in a decadent society, where the only thing most of us have to fear is if we are going to be stuck in traffic or not. If and when zombitis (last one, I promise) hits, you will have to live every day of your life appreciating what you have. We won’t be sheep anymore. We will be forced to be wolves to survive. And let’s face it, earning our right to live everyday isn’t such a bad thing.
- Freedom. With the general breakdown of society comes a bit more freedom. I’m not talking about looting and rioting (although that is bound to happen). I’m talking about living the kind of life you want and not having to worry about what society or the government says about it. There won’t be one to judge you. Yes, you have to worry about becoming a zombie, but if you are prepared then the threat should be minimal.
As I’ve said before, no one wants a zombination (sorry, I couldn’t resist), but if it is to happen and you survive, you simply have to look at the bright side. After all, it could be worse, right? We might have a zombie president in our future.
Maybe for the next take, I’ll delve into what it’s like to actually BE a zombie. Not to make you think twice about whacking one’s head off, but like a wise man once said “know thine enemy…”
Stay safe. Stay informed. Stay alive.
Comments (27)
Splint on 06 Feb 2008 at 11:33 am #
Family: Assuming they aren’t walking with the undead, you’ll have plenty of quality connecting with your loved ones. Since everyone will need to chip in extensively for group survival, there’ll be little time to bicker about the trivial things like TV time, computer time, homework, clothes and food.
And the best parental threat evAH!
“I don’t wanna gather firewood!”
“Oh yeah? Then you can sleep out back in the tent tonight while everyone else enjoys the fire in the house. Have fun being a zombie.”
Toebo23 on 08 Feb 2008 at 9:29 pm #
Life would be a lot better then.. if you dont have to worry about the zeds ( like being on our island) the human race gets a fresh start
MOMinuteman on 09 Feb 2008 at 4:33 pm #
I’d rather have ZombieReagan for Prez than any of the morons we’re gonna have to choose from in November…
Regarding areas that will still have juice after the Dawn Of The Dead, places that get their power from hydro-electric or nuke plants will still be lit up for a few hundred years without any upkeep…
Storms and the like knocking down power lines notwithstanding….
People with the ability to maintain that infrastructure would make post-zombie life a lot more comfortable…
Kyouger on 10 Feb 2008 at 3:07 pm #
Actually, MOMinuteman, nuclear plants will shut down two or three days after their sensors sense that the power being generated isn’t being used. Also, a lot of upkeep goes into keeping a hydro plant up. Keeping the cooling water running to the turbines is one major thing. They can be blocked very easily.
saeferth on 11 Feb 2008 at 4:53 am #
nuclear plants shut down automatically? thank god for that, i was worried they’d blow up and kill a lot of surviviors
Jas on 12 Feb 2008 at 2:33 am #
they will blow up and make super zombies
rzm61 on 14 Feb 2008 at 12:28 am #
Ah, a zombie apocalypse. Probably the best thing that would happen in my life. I would love to be a zombie hunter. BRING EM ON!
Anecdote on 17 Feb 2008 at 7:10 pm #
Regarding the nuclear and hyrdo-electric power plants, you’d probably want to go ahead and check out the documentary “Life After People”, they have some very interesting information regarding “unending power supply.”
As for zombie apocalypse… hard to say whether or not it will be great, I imagine there will be a good deal of poison contamination in the water and general environment damage. Spooky! How would we overcome those problems with minimal supplies and energy? Keep traveling?
Hugh on 19 Feb 2008 at 5:15 am #
Sorry you seem to be forgetting that a post apocalyptic world of any sort provides a free license to be awesome. I refer you to mad max if you don’t understand what I mean.
saeferth on 19 Feb 2008 at 3:15 pm #
^agreed. there would probably be some contamination. but the zompocalypse wouldnt spread overnight. there’d be quarantines and blockades in place, so the likleyhood of an oil spill at sea for example would be reduced. and thered be enough free, clean water and canned food to keep you going for a while. youre biggest worries are other people, infected and un-infected alike.
3rd ID on 20 Feb 2008 at 5:59 pm #
it wold be great wouldn’t it just survivle none of this money and credit cards and all that crap
Platinum on 22 Feb 2008 at 10:16 am #
Actually, Kyouger, I’m with MOMinuteman on this.
He and I will be using that energy running lethal electric fencing, air-compressors for 3000 round per minute BB Mini-Guns (and 20mm Gats), not to mention watching a few DVD’s and the PS2.
Once the majority of the bodies get out of the water supply, keeping the intake-grates for hydro will only require weekly checks. Assuming that some ‘tard doesn’t deliberatly block them. Liberal application of .45acp rounds should limit the ‘tard count as well as the number of shufflers.
Hopefully, all the people with know-how regarding these power plants and connecting lines won’t be joining the shuffler team. If any survive, they can come live behind my sizzling, crackling, dancing-zombie fence.
Dr. Detroit on 16 Mar 2008 at 6:09 pm #
Zombie apocalypse?!!? AWESOME.
World Peace: Can’t get up in each other’s grills when we’re all busy fighting zombies.
I won’t need a job: Hell yeah! Who REALLY wants a job? I don’t. I could live a simple life dealing mostly with what i want to eat everyday as well as watching my ass. Better than serving some schmuck who’ll take all your money anyways.
and on another note, do zombies spread AIDS? Africa would even less fun then.
ZzDeuceX on 26 Mar 2008 at 6:25 pm #
Um..The response here seems a little immature at times. you would exchange having to work every day(subtracting weekends) for having roving bands of ZOMBIES instead(all the time)? Don’t you think your picking the greater of two evils? A pox on humanity to ensure your own laziness? Keep in mind, you will not be the only survivor. The reason we have currency and jobs and credit cards is because that is the best way to exchange work for services. Even if we go back to bartering and trading, you are still exchanging work for services.
Ben the Fed. on 06 Apr 2008 at 6:34 pm #
Uh. Don’t we already have a zombie for president?
BudZombie on 17 Apr 2008 at 11:31 am #
I can easily say that a zombie apocolypse would probably be one of the greatest events I could ever witness.
Granted… most of my friends dont care to stay prepared… and hardly pay attention when I try to get them to listen.
So I’d probably lose close to everyone if not everyone I know.
That being said… I’d probably adopt some kind of badass outfit and try to procure a motorcycle. Arm myself to the teeth…
and ride into the nearest city
A zombie outbreak would be kind of like a suicide for me… unless alot of people survived… It’d be pointless to go it alone for too long.
Platinum on 17 Apr 2008 at 8:42 pm #
Note to ZAC Admin:
Perhaps a discussion about why a motorcycle is probably the WORST vehicle to fight zombies on. (btw, I ride one on a daily basis)
Separate discussion on the longevity of wannabe superheroes.
Angryvikingman on 11 May 2008 at 2:59 pm #
While I, as much as anyone else would love a break from the everyday grind, a zombie outbreak would be horrible. If most of my friends survived, then I don’t guess it would be too bad. I’m pretty much a survivalist, and I dont need the trappings of everyday society. Some ammo, booze, ramen noodles, and a few friends and I’d be in heaven. The only part that would suck would be finding a place to grow veggies and other food stuff and keeping it safe from people too lazy to grow their own food. The work tending a garden isn’t really labor intensive until the harvest time. So all in all, a simple country life wouldn’t be too bad. Just some fences to put up and minimal work to do.
ZombieSlayer on 04 Jun 2008 at 4:32 pm #
I would hate that world! Zombies suck on too many levels to count and while finding the silver lining is important, we should all be able to agree that it would suck beyond recognition.
Sure there are nay-sayers who have crappy jobs and probably even crappier social lives, but I think that most “adjusted” human beings would rather watch our tv and surf our internet, or hell, even take our evening walks at our own pace, rather than fighting roving hordes of literally millions of undead.
There are some who say, “Oh sure, a little ammo, a little booze and I’ll be fine.” You sir, are an idiot. First off, booze will be the first thing on the “not required for survival” list and the first thing on the “necessary for boneheads and alcoholics” list. First, you can’t shoot straight when you’re drinking. Now I know, you’re some sort of champion shooter than can quickdraw and shoot apples at 1000000 yards with open sights… congratulations, but if you think that once everything settles down you’ll just hit the bottle, you’re as good as dead. Hell, when my friends and I go drinking, they can’t even tell the difference between a hot chick and an ugly one, let alone one that is breathing or not.
Maybe a shot of booze to ease the tensions once the excrement has settled, but how long is that going to last? Week? Two tops?
You know what? Screw it. Drink away your cares! Drink it all for all I care. One less person, one more zombie, see if I care.
The fact of the matter is this: there is no silver lining to the Z war. None. And don’t think that just because you’re on your little island that you’re safe… zombies float and zombies wash ashore.
Angryvikingman on 06 Jun 2008 at 5:41 pm #
I don’t remember saying that I was going to get sloshed and try and take out all the zombies. However, I DID say that a zombie apocalypse would be horrible. Thank you for exagerating and twisting everything I said. Get bent, you tool.
ms.zombiiie™ on 11 Jun 2008 at 9:44 am #
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in case of a zombie attack hit me up!!!!
956 381 0212….
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i know im a moron 4 doin it but its good to be prpared..
a zombie apocolypse would be awesum but sad..but itll give me an excuse to shoot my bitchy ex bf in if hes a zombie!!
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love
ms.zombiiie
Dr Who on 19 Oct 2008 at 10:23 pm #
To all those who think that surviving WWZ is fun. Take off work for two weeks, get yourself a backpack and stuff it full of whatever you can carry except food, have a buddy drop you off in the middle of nowhere and now make your own way back without hitchhiking or getting any help from humanity. Life starts to really suck the third day of grub stew. Pine needle tea wears thin quick. You will only last the two weeks if you are BAD and then you will start to realize how much the aftermath is going to suck. Look into how much work goes into farming a large enough plot to feed you and yours. Look at how life was 150 years ago and add to this the walking dead and life doesn’t seem so fun anymore. Operating you own power plant? How much experience do you have doing that? Can you fix everything there? Think these things through. Your PSpaperweight loses it’s appeal quickly.
pheonix on 24 Oct 2008 at 11:47 pm #
dude no more school for the rest of your life you dont need it if you goal is just to see the next day
Dr Who on 25 Oct 2008 at 8:54 pm #
Pheonix I hate to tell you it’s going to be knowledge that will keep you alive. While school isn’t the only way to learn, for most it’s a good way. Trust me, living life just trying to stay alive isn’t a way to live a pleasant life.
“Zed’s dead baby, Zed’s dead.” – Butch
Sharpshooter on 02 Mar 2009 at 6:19 pm #
yeah phoenix: enjoy school while its there. if you want to drop out then tihnk of it this way: it could help you devise plans, or you could devise a way to create better barriers, or make improv weapons.
Allknowingcuban on 02 Feb 2011 at 8:14 pm #
i think that when this goes down that life will be better.. government .. ha not when we are getting are own food and water and keeping are lands safe.. nothing would please me more then zombies coming right now.. i really wake up everyday and think about it.. i have a full year and more plan.. i hope it happens.. i really do..