New Breakthrough in Understanding Zombie Behavior
New research has pushed a new theory forward on why the undead, living dead, or more commonly, the zombie are driven to feed upon the living.
Center for Disease Control and Prevention
Atlanta, Ga
In many horror movies zombies can be seen lurching forward in an effort to catch and consume the living and, as a result, creating more zombies in their wake. What is never explained is why these zombies attempt to do so. Hollywood takes wild stabs at possible theories, however, much like their attempts at zombie survival tactics, their dissemination of correct information falls short. Lately, a team of researchers have been working to answer the question of why zombies attack. Their research brought forth a theory that has been untouched as of yet.
Researchers, after an exhaustive study, now claim the zombie is not driven to devour the flesh of the living in a need to feed, rather the zombie is driven to reproduce.
This theory came about by looking at the behavior of both zombies and living creatures in nature. Most living creatures, including humans, are driven to spread their genetic materials through offspring to continue the species and their own legacy. The theory is that the virus that creates and drives the zombie is no different. It is driven to spread and reproduce, but unlike amoebas which through binary fission, or splitting into two identical parts, or mammals which reproduce through sexual reproduction, the zombie instead can only reproduce by infecting a person and to do so there must be a transfer of fluids which contain the virus.
Many studies have proven that the saliva and blood of the zombie contains the greatest concentration of the virus that causes the change of a human being into the zombie.
“Through classified government resources, we have been able to simulate undead behavior. An independent third party of behavioral scientists along with our team of researchers has compiled a comprehensive study which we feel will change the way zombies are viewed,” stated an insider who shall remain anonymous. “With this information, not only can we adequately prepare for when the dead walk, but we might be able to create new methods to combat them.”
While the theory is still in the testing phase, it holds great promise in understanding the zombie and its nature. With luck this will be one of many breakthroughs to come in understanding the zombie menace and why it acts how it does. The team also hopes to use the information to develop an early warning system, despite skeptics among the group who feel their governments will never allow the information to go mainstream.
Comments (27)
ZzDeuceX on 01 Apr 2008 at 10:04 pm #
This is the kind of information that will be useful to those that survive zero hour. “Know thine enemy” and all that. I have an idea that this wont go too mainstream, because too many just don’t care why the zeds are hungry, just as long as they get dead. If we could find a way to appease the zeds without offering up a tasty bit of zombie fodder, couldn’t we live in peace with them?…APRIL FOOLS! It’s nice to know why the zeds are trying to eat you, but in my opinion, the only zombie information that I really need is this: How do you kill it? Will it stay dead? How does it spread? And fianally, what’s the best way to get zombie-goop out of my shirt? We appreciate the effort guys, but unless you can come up with zombie repellant,((OH PLEASE come up with zombie repellant!!!)) then all this research is moot.
Splint Chesthair on 02 Apr 2008 at 8:19 am #
Now there’s a new zombie-movie, zombies that are driven to reproduce sexually. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Epitaph4Humanity on 02 Apr 2008 at 10:10 am #
I have theories as to why zombies feed which is more inclusive and includes how zombies find you.
I liked the article, but I really don’t think that’s it.
Epitaph
Schmidt on 02 Apr 2008 at 10:14 am #
Zombies reproducing sexually–it’s been done: Cronenberg’s movie Shivers that came out in ’75.
Torque Calypso on 02 Apr 2008 at 1:51 pm #
This would explain why acting like a zombie would allow you to move through hordes of zombies unnoticed (Shaun of the Dead).
Robert Morrison on 02 Apr 2008 at 5:09 pm #
What this does not explain, however, is why zombies still literally eat their completely killed victims. Think the gas pump explosion scene in Night of the Living Dead. They are fighting over pieces and eating them. Also, why then would they swarm and dogpile victims, totally consuming them? If their goal is to reproduce, why do they continue to feed until their victim’s body is useless?
ZAC Admin on 02 Apr 2008 at 7:53 pm #
“What this does not explain, however, is why zombies still literally eat their completely killed victims. Think the gas pump explosion scene in Night of the Living Dead.”
As with any zombie research, testing is dangerous and limited. Many researchers will admit that they try to avoid Hollywood films as there are obviously areas where filmmakers do not portray the undead accurately. Naturally Kain could not offer all of the answers. Many films do not explain why zombies are zombies to begin with, much less their motive after they return to life.
“Also, why then would they swarm and dogpile victims, totally consuming them? If their goal is to reproduce, why do they continue to feed until their victim’s body is useless?”
I would offer that when the body dies and then is reanimated, it is clearly clumbsy driven by only the basic functions and abilities. I would submit that they are reduced to wild animals unable to discern exactly how to go about their mission, except that they know what drives them.
Splint Chesthair on 03 Apr 2008 at 8:42 am #
“Zombies reproducing sexually–it’s been done: Cronenberg’s movie Shivers that came out in ‘75.”
Yeah, I’ve seen that, but at least the infected didn’t LOOK like zombies.
ZzDeuceX on 04 Apr 2008 at 5:49 am #
Its called shivers? was that a good one? anyhoo, back on track: Zombies reproducing sexually through biting is an interesting way of putting it, but my thoughts still lay in the ways of they have the basic need to feed and that is it…then again, its hard to tell which need is more basic, feeding or reproducing. I would say feeding because in many aspects it is easier than reproducing. If this new organ in the brain, whatever the virus/parasite turns it into, could combine the two drives, then biting others would be almost irresistable. add in the fact that the rest of your brain is wiped clean, and you have a biting machine, willing to bite everything. if you consider that the zombies see themselves as males, and living humans as females then that even explains why they dont attack each other! still, its a scary thought.
Platinum on 09 Apr 2008 at 10:37 am #
Reproduction and sex are two different things.
Whether zombies are attempting to reproduce, or just like tasty gray-matter is not relevant. I do not care to know their motives (if any) and I have an effective .45 caliber repellent with plenty of rechargeable canisters.
We know how cockroaches reproduce, but do we really care. No. What we really care about is the most effective way to eliminate them. Not understand them, not discern their motives, but eradicate them.
Wasted research. If they know that a supposed “virus” is found in large amounts in spittle and blood, research would be better done on an antivirus or cure. I we can cure the less gnawed shufflers, I’m all for it. If not, find me better ways to eliminate the threat to my family and myself.
Example 1: Effectiveness of Taser or other electric shock to disable them, allowing safer eradication and disposal.
Example 2: We know a .45acp to the brain-housing-group will finish them off, but are there other effective “kill” zones.
Example 3: Once killed (again), what is the most effective way to dispose of the remains without the possibility of recontamination / infection. (i.e. Burn the bodies, do we have a new populace of shufflers downwind of the furnace?)
You can tell the government had the steering hand in this study. More of my tax dollars wasted on useless theory and information. Similar to the study that found that beer helps ugly people “hook up” more often.
Jediwannabe on 17 Apr 2008 at 7:02 pm #
About Robert morrison’s comment on why zombies would completely consume someone, Zombies may bite people to reproduce, but just like us, they could get hungry and decide to completely consume someone.
Platinum on 17 Apr 2008 at 8:38 pm #
Or like politicians with moronic, freedom-infringing laws….too stupid to stop.
jediwannabe on 27 Apr 2008 at 4:38 pm #
true…
airship on 28 Apr 2008 at 4:27 pm #
Remember, zombies are stupid. They are driven only by instincts, not logic. The reason they continue to bite their victims after they’ve been killed is that those victims are not yet reanimated. Until there is clear evidence of reanimation they will continue to bite in an effort to reproduce.
This is not a problem for them when the zombie/human ratio is low, as a zombie will normally bite a victim once, and after it falls the zombie will move on to the next nearest live human. They are drawn to warmth, sound, and animation.
However, when there are a great many more zombies than humans, you will see many zombies attempting to zombify the few remaining victims. They do not actually ‘eat’ them in the normal sense. They just bite the bejesus out of them, perhaps inadvertently swallowing small pieces in the process. They will not stop until a fresh victim presents itself, or until the previous victim reanimates.
Remember, population pressure drives zombie reproduction, too!
Platinum on 29 Apr 2008 at 9:11 pm #
Additionally, one bite does not kill immediately.
As long as you’re thrashing, screaming, and squirming, they will continue to bite until you die.
Then you become a shuffler, too.
Alice Program on 12 May 2008 at 1:55 pm #
Platinum: You are partially right but you forgot that even if you are dead they will still eat you because your body will still be warm it is basic Human Anatomy
Alice Program on 12 May 2008 at 2:02 pm #
airship: You are wrong adout Zombies being stupid if you have ever seen Night of The Living Dead then you might remember that one of the Zombies called the police station and told them to bring more brians.; P
Platinum on 14 May 2008 at 9:36 pm #
Alice, tis true. It takes a while for the body to cool to ambient temperature. The lack of thrashing, etc… is similar to a spinner covered in pond moss, however…no “non-attacking” zombies will bite. No bait, no bite. They’ll be coming for you.
Dax on 18 May 2008 at 11:33 pm #
Not sure your people’s opinions on the survival guide, but according to that they just eat to eat for some reason. I mean, obviously it doesn’t spread to other species, but they bite them, too. I guess you could argue that “those are warm bodies too” and that the zombies cant differentiate that well, although allegedly they “prefer” human to everything else. But its also been explained about how zombies have “eaten” so much human flesh that some become bloated and fat as hell, some to the point of their stomachs exploding, even though they don’t really mind and go about business as usual…
But still, kind of but not really…
Alice Program on 21 May 2008 at 1:39 pm #
actually it did spread to other spieces like in the Resident evil movie the gaurd dogs were zombiefied.LOL See ALL the movies before you go and through logic around Will you.
To my Smart Ass friend Dax
RHJunior on 21 May 2008 at 10:51 pm #
Generally speaking, zombies attack in a feeding frenzy because the “kill and eat” portions of their brain are activated by the virus. To the zombie, it’s a feeding impulse. to the virus, it’s a means to an end.
But it’s not particularly relevant.
What is more relevant to surviving z-hour is why they do NOT, generally, attack one another. Most likely it’s a simple matter of flavor— dead, infected flesh probably tastes bad, and the bodies are probably saturated with waste products of the virus which make its taste and odor unappealing to the zed as well. A spray based upon those chemical byproducts might serve as a “zombie repellant.” Or at least as zombie camouflage, letting the living move about in zed-infested territory without being stalked.
Micah on 22 May 2008 at 4:05 pm #
I haven’t read all the comments. So, sorry if I am repeating what someone has stated.
WWZ hits on this clearly. Brooks states thats why they attack.
Kain - ZAC Weapon Consultant on 05 Jun 2008 at 12:55 pm #
Zombies feed on impulse, the base virus’ drive to spead, the reason for the outlook for reproduction is to explain it in layman terms. The article does not, however, say that zombies spread through sexually reproduction. I will blame hormones for the reason that members of this sight for jumping to that necrofilia conclusion.
On another note, as Platinum asked how effective a taser would be against the dead.
To the best of my knowledge a taser has never been used against a zombie, except in a Resident Evil video game, however, considering that nerve impulse are needed to control the body it may very well stop them. However, unlike in a human where the shock is extremely painful, a zombie it would likely only slow it down. Also a taser only give its wielder a short range, and less shots, it is not going to kill a zombie.
Burning the bodies, destroys the virus and such that is the most effective way to dispose of the bodies, you do not have to worry about contamination down wind.
“They won’t get me they won’t get me thought they never cease to try
they won’t get me they won’t get me I would rather fight and die
they won’t get me they won’t get me well my friend will they get you?
when they get you when they get you tell me what are you gonna do?”
Dropkick Murphys – The Gauntlet
Platinum on 14 Jun 2008 at 10:30 am #
My first line of “up close and” personal defense is my .45
If a taser, stun-gun, or similar device will slow them down, or temporarily incapacitate a brain-hungry visitor, I will have a greater chance to escape.
Chance are, however, that I wouldn’t carry one, but information regarding their effectiveness is helpful.
Information may save your life (and save me some ammo).
Since burning the bodies is safe disposal, does that mean we have to clean up our mess (the dead undead strewn around our defensible position) and burn them. Or do we just move on? All that undead brain juice would be leaking all over the place, seemingly making the place ripe for reinfection.
Kain - ZAC Weapon Consultant on 14 Jun 2008 at 2:46 pm #
The stun gun or taser may slow them down but they simply do not have the range. The type that the police have made famous one allow you one distance shot of twenty to thirty feet, depending on the model, and after that it is face to face. Against one it may be viable but two or more it is precisely useless and only slows them down. You would be better to insert a round in their brain with your .45, or club them.
If you are looking at it as a more humanitarian approach, seeing zombies as a vestige of their former selves you are utterly mental. More so, you are a danger to survivors.
“They won’t get me they won’t get me thought they never cease to try
they won’t get me they won’t get me I would rather fight and die
they won’t get me they won’t get me well my friend will they get you?
when they get you when they get you tell me what are you gonna do?”
Dropkick Murphys – The Gauntlet
Platinum on 23 Jun 2008 at 5:47 am #
If it tries to attack me (much less eat me), I have no humanitarian sense about it whatsoever. They attack…they die.
If a taser/electric shock is effective, however, this opens the door to a wider range of defense. As long as the grid is up, or you have dependable generators and a fuel supply, this leaves us with electric fences, or electrified moats, or something like it.
I’ll still be carrying my .45 8)