Zombie Food
What kind of flesh do zombies prefer?
Let’s say you’re stranded in a house surrounded by flesh craving zombies with four other survivors. There’s no way out and you need a distraction to allow you to escape. What types of animals would be acceptable bait? A dog, cat or chicken? Would the undead chase down and devour a horse, cow or even a pig? What about carrying an animal for a diversion in an emergency? What type of animal would you bring with you for just such an occasion?
While man’s best friend is an obvious choice because of its size and speed, you have to wonder if it would be silent enough to allow you to remain undetected if it were traveling in your group. There’s also the emotional attachment most people have to a canine. A cat, however, would be a nice choice because of its stealth properties. Mice or rats might also be a good choice because of their quickness and lack of noise. On a stealth mission I would definitely choose a cat as an emergency distraction. For a way out of a surrounded house or building, a dog would be best.
What about larger animals? A horse would be ideal for riding and also provide a meal for the undead if necessary. Cows could also be sacrificed but unless you enjoy fresh milk, they would serve no other purpose. Pigs and other farm animals are about equal as far as distractions go. Chickens, while delicious, would give away your position much too easily.
Fish and other seafood are pretty much out of the question because of their lack of mobility on land. I suppose you could throw a trout pretty far but how distracted would a throng of zombies be over a few fish? Not very.
Birds on the other hand may be able to get their attention long enough to draw them away from your position. If you were able to bring the fowl to the attention of the crowd, they might be distracted enough to allow you an escape.
Lastly, we must discuss other humans. These would be the ideal diversion/snack to allow your group to escape. However, the bait should not know their purpose until it’s too late. If faced with such a situation, choose the bait carefully. If you study your group and cannot decide which one of the others is the bait, it’s probably you.
Stay safe. Stay informed. Stay alive.
JJ Ritonya
http://www.jjritonya.com
Comments (17)
Caleb Hader on 05 Aug 2009 at 4:30 pm #
um, hmm. well for my group we plan by saying that in the worst case, a zombie would only eat another animal besides a human if no humans were around, and if it could catch them. So as far as using bait to get away from a zombie, I think that there are better ways to evade without taking the time to set up the animal you’re using as bait. Now if you’re say, trying to lure zombies into a killing field, then ya it could be helpful to use an animal in stead of a human, but even then, it isn’t smart to attract zombies in the first place. And horses an cattle would’nt be bad assets for your group, they live on grass, and provide a good source of food in a pinch. I also don’t think that using your own group members as bait is entirely a good idea, unless they are either going crazy or not being cautious, and getting the group into more trouble than it should.
Sharpshooter on 05 Aug 2009 at 8:04 pm #
i have two much respect for animals to use them so stupidly. me and four of my friends? fuck we’d be able to easily blow open a gaping hole in the zed’s roaming our house.
Angryvikingman on 06 Aug 2009 at 12:12 am #
Animals as a distraction? Not likely. If I want to set up a distraction for zombies so I can bug out, its going to be a big damn explosion. Either that or several. When they go flying through the air, I think they’d be pretty distracted by that. I can make explosives from bird poop and cleaning supplies. I’m set.
Jay on 06 Aug 2009 at 4:08 am #
I wouldnt use my dog as bait only for hunting,guarding and attacking she can be real quite when i tell her to be although ive put alot of time and effort into doing it but what if you couldnt distract the zombies with animals? What then how outher are we going to distract them? And reach a safe place
Jay on 06 Aug 2009 at 4:10 am #
Sorry ment to say quiet not quite!
Ronin666 on 06 Aug 2009 at 6:27 am #
I guess it depends on if zombies eat anything other than humans. I tend to think they don’t.
A dog would be a great asset with their sense of smell and hearing both better than ours, no way would I sacrifice a good dog. A whining hairdresser or telemarketer however would make great bait.
3 ID on 06 Aug 2009 at 8:03 am #
same i thought Zeds only wanted human flesh they might be distracted by an explosion rather than a dog or say a bigger animal so i guess C4 it is then also sharpshooter your not some PETA person are you that would freak me out a little and blasting your way through a horde of zeds will take more than just a couple of bolt actions you need a up armored vehicle or some thing of the sort
3ID on 06 Aug 2009 at 8:59 am #
i would use explosive like Angryviking man that I think will be the only way to distract them for a little while animals wont do crap people yes thats why you have your “group” and then “sub group” people they can go out there and distract them
also sharp shooter you and a few friends armed with bolt action 30 06 are not going to clear enough zeds for you to make an escape you have to have a vehicle and some semi auto weapons IE an AR15
Adam on 06 Aug 2009 at 11:24 am #
I must say, i’m a little disturbed about the last part about human bait.
Among my group of potential survivors, we’ve agreed “leave no man behind, unless you absolutely have to”. If we were to use someone as bait, they would have to be a volunteer. I don’t know if i could live with myself knowing i’d tricked a friend into death.
Miguel Sanchez on 06 Aug 2009 at 12:09 pm #
Not liking the animals as a distraction.. In the event of a zombie outbreak and I was at my parents house w/ my wife and the rest of my family, the first thing I’d do is to either have something grab our dog or do it myself.
I’d have somebody grab the dog so that I can suit up properly to protect the family. But the dog would never in any circumstance be used as bait.
Sharpshooter on 06 Aug 2009 at 6:33 pm #
yeah dogs are mans best friend….. maybe a cat though those annoying fucking meows and hisses and claws would deffinatly attract some attention
Jay on 06 Aug 2009 at 7:08 pm #
Oh hell yeah id use a bloody cat for bait
dib5th on 06 Aug 2009 at 11:05 pm #
yeah use cats as bait and leave no man behind
jordan on 10 Aug 2009 at 1:04 pm #
First off, I hate cats. They make me sneeze so much, however that I would not even consider allowing one to live in the same area as me nor would I pack them. But about them chickens. Max Brooks wrote in his book WWZ (better on audiobook) that “g’s” will strip the earth off all life, including livestock, pets, anything they can get their hands on.
I’ve had to transport two of them one time, my younger sister raised them for 4-H. They were immediately silenced by darkness, toss a blanket over them and bam its like hitting the mute button. If there in a bag they wont even squirm. But when you toss em like a foot ball they go ape shit and glide for 20yds while cackling like you would believe. When a zombie sets after it they would make even more noise they’d love it.
Throw a sock on em and stick em in your pack and you should be good to go. If you don’t end up using them you can always eat them afterwards.
As for the whole thing about using animals, whos gonna have livestock left after it gets so bad to where you need a distraction?
If you want to plan for needing a distraction buy some extra cheep-o radios and batteries nerf-em with foam and duck-tape. In a pinch just turn one on turn it up and chunk the fucker in the opposite direction.
another mike on 14 Aug 2009 at 4:10 am #
Always have a useful skill. You’ll be less likely to be used as bait.
In my camp, an infected would be carefully monitored but allowed to keep working until they turned. Then they’d be put down without hesitation. The difference between murdering a human and offing a monster.
That said, they’d be welcome to grab a bomb and go introduce the ghouls to high explosives.
Jordan’s radio idea is OK but walkie-talkies would be better. Even if the power grid weren’t out, I can’t imagine many stations still transmitting. I just wouldn’t want to rely on distracting shamblers with static.
Jay on 20 Aug 2009 at 9:28 am #
Just a loud bang or noise should do the trick
HMPlatinum on 23 May 2010 at 3:50 pm #
I believe any animal smaller than a human is worthless for a distraction. This does not count throwing a p’d off cat into a face, but even that would only be momentary. Historically (moviewise) then undead and the infected ignore anything but humans.
I doubt I would be fortunate enough to have herd of elephants or starving tigers tucked away in the closet, so that leaves me to consider the final option.
Human bait. The scenario states, “..four other survivors.” The next sentence is contradictory, “There’s no way out and you need a distraction …” If there is no way out, well……, but I digress.
Four other survivors. Who are they? This is the key.
All my family/loved ones? They can leave, I’ll meet them later.
Two loved ones and a stranger? Yes, I could sleep at night saving those I love. Trickery would not be necessary, nor would I resort to it, and chances are I don’t have the time to devise an intricate web of deceit to fool the bait.
One loved one and two strangers? This really muddles the situation and the teams are now balanced, and they make be thinking the same thing about me. Further complicated by: Are they a couple/loved ones or strangers themselves? Time is ticking on this one…it could get ugly.
Just me and 3 strangers? See above, the variations of loved ones/strangers make it too complex to give a pat answer. Do I enlist aid? Act alone? Form alliances (probably a’la survivor where they only last while convenient)? Or just shoot the slowest one in the leg and run?
I would not be bringing any animal with me, ever until I could base, fortify, and begin building for the long run.
Explosives and gunplay seem to be the answer here. And I’ll probably need all three others to escape.
May have to shoot some people in the leg, but I don’t have to outrun the zombies….just you.
That last part was a joke. Do you have any idea how hard it is to shoot a runner in the leg?