faqs
Photo credit: Scott Beale / Laughing Squid

Over the years I have seen and heard many questions regarding zombies. Some quite intelligent and thought provoking others, less so. However, there are several questions that have been raised that I have answered time and time again. So, to stave off the inevitable homicidal rampage a few more hours here are the answers to the questions that have been put to me must often. Now, shut up already!

What is a zombie?
Okay, here is without a doubt the most common question. Firstly, what a zombie is not. A zombie is not your stoner neighbor. Though they may have the shambling, slack jawed, clueless look about them they are not the living dead, just the lifeless husk of the living. What a zombie is, by definition, is the living dead or undead. They have been brought to life or unlife by a virus that animates the dead bodies of those infected while live. You cannot turn a corpse into a zombie.

Do zombies eat brains?
No, they do not. This is a pop culture misconception from the movies. Zombies don’t eat flesh either, not in the traditional sense of the words at least. They may consume flesh but they receive no nutritional value from it. They seek out and consume flesh only to try to infect the living and to add to their own numbers.

What kind of zombies are you talking about?
For all intensive purposes on ZAC when we talk about zombies we are referring to the Max Brooks model from his book The Zombie Survival Guide, not the zombies from Night of The Life Dead, Resident Evil or 28 Days Later. Otherwise, by Max Brooks zombies we mean that the zombies are not intelligent, they cannot move quickly, they seek to infect you with their bite or through other fluid transfers. And, no do not go there you sick necrophiliacs!

How do you kill a zombie?
Generally speaking, to kill a zombie you have to destroy the brain. This can be done a number of ways, but the most common ways are to crush the skull with a bludgeon of some sort or to place a well aimed shot between the eyes. Once you manage to kill the zombie it is also recommended that you burn the corpse to completely destroy any chance of infection.

Do zombies have super strength?
No, a zombie is no stringer than the person who existed before they succumbed to the virus. The only difference is since a zombie lacks any inhibitors to stop it from over exerting itself then can but every once of strength into their grip. On a plus note, since the zombie is slowly decaying their strength will slowly decline and wane.

Are zombies smarter since they eat brains?
I have actually been asked this question, the thought being that since zombies consume other people’s gray matter they must be adding to their own. No, zombies are not smart, they are little more than a plague of retards since they are using only the most basic functions of the mind to act and exist.

Do you suffer from insanity or delusions?
No, I happen to enjoy both my insanity and delusions quite a lot. Thank you for asking, though.