“Modern Warfare” (Or Insert Whatever Videogame Shooter You Please) Taught Me Everything That I Need to Know!

Since I have begun working for ZombiesAreComing.com I have had the opportunity to meet and speak with a large number of people in regards to zombies and survival thereof., online and offline. While there is a large number of people out there who have made serious preparation for surviving a zombie out break or other situations where society falls. There is also those who I have come to term, the “Armchair Survivors” who do not train, who never go to the range or the sparring room, those who think that videogames and movies will teach them everything they need to know.
It is a sad day when I meet someone who thinks that they know more than I do about something that I have been doing for more than half my life, be that martial arts or shooting. While I am more than open minded and willing to listen I truly can’t stand it when someone brings up a movie or video as “proof” that they are right. Example.
Ignorant scumbag: “Dude, like the D-eagle is the most powerful handgun ever, and you can snipe someone sooo easy with it!”
Me: “One, the IMI Desert Eagle is not the most powerful handgun ever. And two, this really being the most important thing, you aren’t going to ‘snipe’ someone with a handgun, especially not one weighing in at three pounds, and you sure as hell are not going to dump the magazine and hit anything that is more than ten feet away with any degree of reliability.
Ignorant scumbag: “You don’t know (Insert your choice of expletive)”
Me: “Where you getting your data points?”
Ignorant Scumbag: “I play (Insert popular video game shooter, I.E. “Modern Warfare,” “Counterstrike” ect.) Where you getting your info?”
Me: “Military vets with twenty years of experience and personal testing.”
In the end I usually end up leaving with sore knuckles and they are carried away, but I digress.
For those of you who think I am completely mistaken please by all means pick a place, I’ll stand 400 meters away, I’ll even handicap myself and use my 5.56 and you can have your beloved .50AE Desert Eagle. We’ll see who draws first blood.
For those of you out there who think that you know something about survival but have never sweated in real training let me educate you on how things work here in the real world.
1. With some training you can actually run father than twenty feet at a dead sprint. Try it.
2. Running with a knife does not mean you run faster, it only means that you give me less stress when I have to shoot you.
3. While we are on the subject, knife fighting is high stress, high intensity. Slashing at me is not an insta-kill. A bullet in your brain pan is! :)
4. Sniper rifles are for long range, fifty feet is not long range.
5. Just because the gun is different does not mean that it does different damage.
6. There is a point to camouflage, other than trying to look cool. Red tiger strip is a target.
7. Gravity is a bitch! It pulls your bullet down. Where you aim is not necessarily where the bullet will go, especially at a thousand meters.
8. Throwing knives are useless! Lose the pig sticker and bring more bullets!
9. Do you really think you can shoulder a 28 pound M240B and hit anything while moving?
10. There is no radar in your HUD in real life. You will not know where I am at, only that your buddy is dead and you are alone.
11. Ever hear of back blast? No? Come here and stand behind this RPG while I fire it, I’ll show you.
12. You have to aim to hit a target that is more than ten meters away. That is what sights are for, use them.
13. You cannot mod in real life.
And last but not least
14. There is no restart.
Comments (32)







3ID on 23 Jul 2010 at 12:11 am #
Kain you can’t forget the airsoft kids, they are step above the armchair commandos but that is about it.
I have had kids that try to butt in during conversation about tactical gear and other kit and think they know their ass from there elbow but it ends in failure.
Not to say that air soft can’t be a training tool but even that is limited.
Paint ball I have no problem with they are a different kind of animal and they know it, which is fine. You stay in your lane I will stay in mine.
Davie on 23 Jul 2010 at 12:16 am #
So very true. Granted, I have little to no combat or firearms training either, but I certainly don’t profess to be an expert on the subject because I play video games. I’m aware I know very little. But in all honesty, it’s probably the people who think they know everything who are more likely to get themselves killed.
Angryvikingman on 23 Jul 2010 at 1:41 am #
What do you expect, people to leave the confines of their homes and do things? Gasp! Perhaps he does! Now that I finally bought a house, and have a yard I can do things in without the cops getting called on me, or someone complaining to management that a person is killing chickens on his patio, I’ll finally be able to get out in the yard and do more knife training, and martial arts forms and exercises. I miss doing forms. There just wasn’t enough room in my former 900 sq ft hovel. The 1500 sq ft house and half acre yard, on the other hand. Mua ha ha! Look for some weapons forms videos and a rabbit processing video soon. I’m gonna build a rabbit hutch and try to become at least 50% self sufficient on meat. Anyone have a mower I can borrow. :( Down side to home ownership…. Mowing the yard. Anyway, I digress. People need to pull their faces out of the damn TV every once in a while and get out and live life. Yeah, you can learn survival from tv, but its better if you go out and experience the situations. Learn to shoot in real life, where bullet drop and wind actually affect your bullet. Learn to use mil-dot ranging. Learn how to use a knife or machete against armed and unarmed opponents. Get in a fist fight. Go out into the world and test your mettle. You can never be a real person without real experiences. What you did on a game doesn’t count in real life. No skill you learn on a game where you respawn after you die will help you to become a better combat operator. Go hunting and see if you can take a life. Even if it is only an animal. Dress the animal’s carcass. Revel in the essence of the experience. It is truly much more exciting than any game I have ever played. It is an unparalleled experience, much the same as sky diving or bungee diving. Learn how to read game tracks, find water and food in nature. For when the shit does hit the fan, people will look to you for guidance. When you learn these things, you are not only helping yourself, but others associated with you. You enrich your own life, as well as theirs. Pass on the things you have learned so that others can live a life in the real world as well. We were all NOOBs at one point in time. Educate the uninformed, and train like you fight.
McLuvin on 23 Jul 2010 at 2:38 am #
Good article Kain. I agree wholeheartedly. I recently had a conversation with a young man who proceeded to tell me that he really wanted a Desert Eagle. I asked him why and informed him that it was an overly heavy, hard recoiling, low capacity toy. He said “Well, I really want an RPD but the Desert Eagle is easier to get.”
I gave him a somewhat disgusted look and asked him if he had ever even seen an RPD let alone handled one. He said that he had not but loved it in COD. Then he asked me if I ever saw one. I took out my iPhone and showed him a picture of me shooting one. I tried to explain to him the shortcomings of the system and that he shouldn’t discuss guns that he didn’t know anything about.
Don’t get me started on people who buy guns and assume that they are shooters.
Angryvikingman on 23 Jul 2010 at 10:19 am #
I’m lucky and grew up/live in a place where people start shooting at a very young age. They may not know about RPDs, AR-15s, SCARs, and ARCs, but by god they can shoot any kind of lever or bolt gun. They won’t talk about guns they don’t know about. ON the other hand, the dumbass city kids who never go outside, hunt, or do anything in real life are prone to acts of verbal diarrhea and talk about Desert Eagles and crap like that. I just call them a dumbass, shake my head, and walk away. Theres no sense in talking to them about facts. They don’t want to hear them.
Angryvikingman on 23 Jul 2010 at 10:19 am #
Shit…. ACRs…. Brain got ahead of my hands.
Guardian Angel on 23 Jul 2010 at 1:21 pm #
I find this funny because everyone knows this guy. i know at least three. Though i will be the first to admit; i used too be like that when i first started playing COD 4, telling anyone who would listen about how I could out snipe them, or thinking i could be invisible with nothing but BDU’s and face paint. I’m just glad my dad has always been around to put me in my place. He was an AMTRAK operator in the marines, and he’s been through a lot in his life. Without him I would probably would have ended up being a statistic on Z-Day.
3-15 INF on 23 Jul 2010 at 4:41 pm #
Don’t forget the HALO bunch- that duel wield crap makes my head hurt!
Angryvikingman, you are a true survivor- you need to find a publisher and write a book or get your own NatGeo tv show
Angryvikingman on 23 Jul 2010 at 6:51 pm #
@ 3-15 INF: Thanks that is a great compliment. I’d love to teach shooting and wilderness survival for a living, I just need to get the street cred, and word of mouth going.
Ronin666 on 23 Jul 2010 at 7:54 pm #
Well said Kain. I sometimes coach new comers at my range
“Have you ever fired a gun before?”
“Hell yea, I own in Quake.”
“These clips are all empty, where do I get the full ones?”
“They are magazines and you fill them.”
“I don’t want to shoot a little .22, I want a real gun.”
“When you can hit the target in the black with 10 rounds of 22 from 25yrds you can have a 38 or 9mm.”
Two week ends later
“I got 8 on the black can I have a 9mm now?”
“No I said 10 and all from the same magazine.”
or the sword.
“How come I have to use a stick, all the other guys have katana’s, I bought mine with me, it’s battle ready!”
“It’s a boken not a stick, you can have a live blade in about 4 years when you are safe with it and what you bought with you is a sword like object that you hang on the wall.”
Never see the guy again.
Like dude, reality sux
Semper Cogitant on 23 Jul 2010 at 11:03 pm #
You forgot one of the most important differences. In a real SHTF survival situation there are no “power-ups” or instant heals. Real healing takes days to weeks, and generally getting shot or otherwise even moderately wounded probably means game over when there’s no one to come help you.
@Angry – Don’t forget an accent, you have to have an accent to have a survival show…
Kain - ZAC Weapon Consultant on 23 Jul 2010 at 11:33 pm #
Accent? For god sakes look at the man’s youtube page, if anything he might need less of an accent. Though I have to point out, where is your ax Angryvikingman, I thought every viking needed an ax? Wait, broad sword, right? Okay, Viking leader, that makes sense, sorry.
And Ronin, i know how you feel. I’ve worked a few shoots at one of my local shooting ranges when they do fundraisers. I had been bring shotguns to the trap line and not know how to load them, or how the safeties worked. There have been times when they’ve discharged right into front of someone else and smiled like it was funny, I had to be held back from butt stroking them, before telling to get the hell out. Like they say, Professionals are predictable, it the amateurs that are truly dangerous.
And yes I know I left out a lot of thing, Halo, GTA, Mercenaries, ect… But if I went through everything one of them, then the list would never have ended, like a Möbius strip. Heck I should have thrown in that shooting from the hip is not more accurate than aiming down the sights, I.E. Mercenaries 2, but… Hell, I almost didn’t post it, I though it was a little too… how shall I put this…. Juvenile.
“They won’t get me they won’t get me thought they never cease to try
they won’t get me they won’t get me I would rather fight and die
they won’t get me they won’t get me well my friend will they get you?
when they get you when they get you tell me what are you gonna do?”
Dropkick Murphys – The Gauntlet
Angryvikingman on 24 Jul 2010 at 1:52 am #
Kain, you have a bit of a Jersey accent yourself. At least at times. I admit I have a bit of a southern accent, but I am not nearly as bad as a lot of people I know.
Rio on 24 Jul 2010 at 8:50 pm #
I agree on your point, there are a lot of pop-culture enthusiasts who believe they stand a 90 % chance of survival because they aced a quiz on the internet.
And I really don´t doubt that whatever know-how and experience you boast to have is true, but I think your attitude is much too agressive and I dare say arrogant, and unless you plan going solo agains a mass of zombies 10 times bigger than woodstock, I would suggest trying for a friendlier face, it´s really hard to get along with superior people while trying to stay alive.
Jordan on 25 Jul 2010 at 6:30 pm #
Kain and Angryvikingman, you two tell it like it is. I like that.
If you would like to start teaching “shooting”-we call it gun safety- and survival volunteer for your state’s hunter education program. If you want to do it as a career, this is the first step you should take. It builds credibility, experience as a teacher, and actual “hours of instructing”. Besides that you could save a lot of these gamer kids from hurting themselves and those around them.
I say this from experience, as a FWC instructor I teach Rifle, Muzzle loading, First aid, and Survival. I see a lot of what I call “game talk” on the range, and I do my best to stomp it out right then and there. Whats really bad is the chatter during the survival portion of the class. First the kids get so worked up knowing its coming, and then wont settle down when It finally comes time to learn it. They expect all of these amazing DIY traps and tricks, SFR tree forts, and rubbing two sticks together to get a fire going when your cold wet and hungry in the dark. I’m ranting but you guys get what its like, it’ll grind on you.
Guardian Angel on 26 Jul 2010 at 1:39 pm #
@kain
that reminds me of a story my friend was telling me. he’s a hunting guide and he was out elk hunting with a client, and they were driving along when the guy told him to stop the truck. while my friend was looking for an elk, the guy puts the barrel of his shotgun right in front of his face and fires. he was shooting at a grouse. he missed and nearly got his ass kicked
Angryvikingman on 26 Jul 2010 at 6:04 pm #
He woulda got his ass kicked if he shot from a vehicle I was driving. After that I would have left him on the side of the road and called a wildlife resources officer and told them what he did and where to find find him. Firing from a vehicle is illegal in TN unless you are physically handicapped, and it also can’t be from the road or side of the road.
wheelgunner on 29 Jul 2010 at 10:25 pm #
Should rename this post Venomus Gamer Rant. Good points all.
spartnrnger P77 on 01 Aug 2010 at 10:20 pm #
Nuthin’ better than out shooting one of those guys who “learned from cod!” Now I play games and airsoft but I read military books, I practice tactics with my buddy who’s in R.O.T.C., I make sure to keep a ready knoledge of a weapon before I pick it up, I practice some very basic melee combat with my karate buddy, and I never talk about the flippin’ D-eagle!! Hate that gun. Kain……. Thank you for putting this out there!
Thunderhawk on 04 Aug 2010 at 3:30 am #
Yes this is a big problem where i live, I’d say that about 90% of my friends fall into this category and as far as i know I am the only one who has ever used a gun, Hiked more than five miles at a time or carried a load over 40 pounds. with all that said though you could probably cause some pretty good damage with an xbox if you had to…
wheelgunner on 05 Aug 2010 at 7:05 pm #
Damn straight. That thing’ll hit like a cemment brick.
z£m☺Bu∞ny♪ on 08 Aug 2010 at 10:57 pm #
I think that the fact that we play games
Do Not help us to the point were we would live if there was a zombie break out today…because all that dose it make us slower and fatter and more eatable….
SO i think everyone needs get off there ass and run a little
I think that i would also end up shooting them in advance just to save there self from the fact that they were fighting to not become it and let there life end a little more easyer
wheelgunner on 11 Aug 2010 at 11:10 pm #
We forgot the most important rule at the top.
15. You can’t cheat out of a bad situation by turning your controller sensitvity up.
Brandon T on 27 Aug 2010 at 8:30 pm #
This is true… i mean i love zombie shooters as much as the next guy but it doesnt teach you shit… i mean you wont find random ammo dumps and guns like games have… plus chances are you would be bitten before you could use a knife
wheelgunner on 02 Sep 2010 at 1:02 pm #
Or that you have to stand still to use your gun, or that adrenoline won’t mess you up.
Clifford "Ozzie" Nicolen on 06 Oct 2010 at 11:55 pm #
Hi, My name’s Clifford and I’m thirteen. Before you think that I’m just another ‘teen with zombie paranoia who has only read the ZSG once or twice, merely skimming over it.
I have read through the ZSG three times(cover-to-cover, not checking back and reviewing) and have taken notes, done research, and reviewed.
I have spent at least a year preparing for the Day.
I spent 6 months of that amount of time being scared out of my MIND. I thought, “Is this book real?” and “Are these true attacks?”. But then it dawned on me. I couldn’t find any of these recorded “attacks” in the web, any books, even my history books.
Then I realized, “A crossbow isn’t silent!”,
“How can a recreation of a human spot an ember from a mile away when a real human can’t?”
I figured, the ZSG is just a guideline to follow loosely. I mean, Max Brooks may have thought up some excellent tactics for dispatching zombies, but he also tells everyone to go live in an offshore oil rig living off of distilled water and fish.
After I figured all of this when I was about 12, I decided to keep my body in a good condition. I decided to learn as much as possible, keep my brain active, do workouts and the like.
My friend however, is the exact opposite.
I actually recieved the ZSG from him for my 13th birthday. I showed him about zombies and how we should prepare.
He said “Yeah! We should be the ones to live!” and then I went to my house later that day and started making a survival pack from an old medic US marine backpack that I found. it came with a rubber canteen, it’s really useful.
Anyway, I don’t think he did anything besides daydream about saving his family so they would worship him. Then I called him a few days later and said “How’s your emergency pack going?” and it all went downhill from there when he said, “I don’t think the ‘Zombpoc’ is happening in our lifetime.”
I said,”So you don’t believe in it?” and he says,”I believe in it, I just don’t think it’s going to happen in our lifetime.” I said okay, but just get your parents to drive to my house if it happens(My house is in the middle of the country, about 13 miles from any town. I thank God every day that we live out here and my father knows how to plant food, and my mother knows how to preserve.).
But then, my friend got an Xbox 360. And his brother let him borrow… You guessed it, Left for Dead 2. It’s a very fun game! I played it with him and I laughed at how pathetic the main idea was. There’s just guns and ammo and chainsaws and axes and katanas all OVER the place! Not to mention that you could kill a zombie by shooting it in the feet with a pistol!
Then he started saying things like the “Ignorant Scumbag” said.
I want a Desert Eagle so bad!
I could “win” the zombpoc if I could get a shotgun and a pistol and an axe.
And the worst.
YOU’RE A NOOOB! And started to think that you could get a head shot with a 8 shot snubnose .38 from 100 yards, just like in Red Dead Redemption. I joked about how innacurate snubnoses were and he said, “No, dude. This guy knows how to accuratley tune a gun’s sight to the extreme.” I said, “Why would he have to do that? He’s not even looking down the barrel, he’s shooting from the hip!” And we started arguing.
So now, all my friend does is play Modern Warfare 2 and yammer on about “Killstreaks” and “Collaterals” and whatnot. I’m seriously worried about his safebeing!
So, anyway, I live in the country, we have a 3 acre yard, a brick house, a garden, and like I said, my mother can preserve vegtables and meat and my father can grow them.
It’s almost as if my parents are preparing for the zombies! We have a wood stove perfectly fit for cooking, hand tools, bicycles, books for entertainment, and electronics are a rarely enjoyed luxury. We even went 21 days without power by cooking our chicken’s eggs on our wood stove and huddling close to the fire. And I enjoyed it!
We are perfectly prepared for the zombies to come. We are smart people with alot of know-how, talents and cooking abilities. But we’re missing one thing.
Weaponry and firearms.
I carry two jackkives on me, a tool knive and a quickly accessable cutting knife. I carry loads of bandages, tools and rope on my person without anyone even knowing it. And so does my father.
But we don’t have a good amout of weaponry. We have a 20 gauge break-action shotgun that I can quickly manuver and load.
we have about 100-150 rounds of ammo, but it’s just bird shot. We can’t even kill a skunk with one round. We also have a home made crossbow we got at a garage sale, but no bolts. I try to stay on my best, with intellect and all, learning about guns, how to load and clean them. but my parents think that I’m being odd about guns when I say something about a type of gun that kids my age shouldn’t know that much about. I keep making subliminal hints about how they should buy a semi-automatic rifle but they don’t catch on and I just end up with strange looks.
I’m trying to get my hands on a nice Ka-bar trench knife, a Damascus blade katana and wazikashi, and other things, but everyone thinks I’m just odd for liking weapons too much. I don’t really like weapons, I’d just like to live.
Any suggestions on how to convince my parents about zombies and how they should humor me?
What should I do?
Headshot on 02 Apr 2011 at 7:39 am #
You should also mention that “tea bagging” your kills makes you dramatically less cool in reality. Amusing still, but not as cool as a winning catch phrase like, “that woke the dead…” or “Brains?!? I’ll give you brains!”
amy on 03 Apr 2011 at 6:30 pm #
i play cod but i mos definetly dont think i know alot about the subject because of it or i know what gun is best to use. Im at an age where its impossible for me to use real guns, im also in an area where gun use os prohibited. I dont go on sites like this because i think i am amazing and because i can teach people what i know because i know very little, i come on sites like these to learn what i cant learn from doing these things in real life as i am unable, and to learn what is truly unlearnable from a video game. i also come here because Z Day is inevitable, it will happen. As i said, im too young to own a real gun but the whole zombie thing is something im very passionate about. When the shit hits the fan im screwed, but im in it for the ride and ill do what i have to do to survive. im hoping the ZA doesnt happen to soon so i can get to the age where i can get some stuff together. at the end of the day, we have to do what we can with what we have and im sure that with some agility, baseball bats and brute force theres nothing i cant solve;), anyway, on topic, we’ll see how good those kids with theyre deagles are when those zombies wanna eat them, shoot em
up boys! hehe anyways best of luck to my fellow guys and girls with an ounce of sence, if anyones going to survive, its going to be people like us, lets do this:)
Tommy on 14 May 2011 at 10:43 pm #
Good for me that I know how to use a bat and nails.
UNO on 06 Oct 2011 at 11:35 am #
Okay, you COMPLETELY lost me with your comments about knives. TRUE. Bullets have much more of a quick shot, you’re dead attribute. However throwing knives are NOT uselesss. Pigstickers are NOT useless. Blades ARE NOT useless. I don’t say this because I play videogames (in all honesty, I rarely get the chance), and I don’t just like watching the videos online. I train, and I hunt. Blades are extremely effective tools. Giving up a blade or too JUST so you can pack more bullets WILL get you killed. Eventually bullets will run out. Throwing knives you will probably lose unfortunately, and if we are talking about the ususal “destroy the brain is the only way to kill” type zombies, then yes the throwing knives will prove difficult to kill with. UNLESS you have the proper training and the correct type of blades to throw with. Not to mention the hand to hand blades that will save your life in ANY survival situation.
Don’t rule out blades. They’ve been around for thousands and thousands of years. They are here to stay for a reason.
UNO on 06 Oct 2011 at 11:37 am #
Sorry, I reread and noticed you did still have knives listed for your tools. My mistake. However they are still useful in combat as well as tools lol
UNO on 06 Oct 2011 at 11:38 am #
OMG, nevermind that was MY mistake XD the knives for tools was in a comment someone posted XD I am so tired right now lol