Please accept our apologies for the downtime.  A very young kid without penis, going by the name of Van John, decided to hack the site.  Thankfully he turned out to be a stupid little boy and is most likely back to watching Handy Manny and eating pancakes with his overweight mother in the trailer that they live in.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Thanks,

The Management

For those of you who follow The Walking Dead television series on AMC, you should have caught the ending of episode 5 where it was revealed that the locked barn on the property was being used to “store” the undead.  We have to ask ourselves, what is the reasoning behind keeping the undead like this?  Is such an experiment too risky? We will leave this a bit open-ended here to see what your thoughts are?

For those of you in the area of Lenexa, Kansas, Westlake Ace Hardware has a special section of their website just for you.  Turns out this location has also been awarded a Zombie Friendly Business Certification as well.  It is a shame that more hardware stores are not doing the same thing.  Many of us have questions, need ideas, and will eventually require supplies to mount a proper defense.  Westlake Ace Hardware has a comprehensive FAQ section that can help you prepare for a proper home defense.  Great advice for fortifying your position for the day that the dead walk the earth!

Stay safe.  Stay informed.  Stay alive.

“CDC has a fun new way of teaching the importance of emergency preparedness. Our new graphic novel, “Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic” demonstrates the importance of being prepared in an entertaining way that people of all ages will enjoy. Readers follow Todd, Julie, and their dog Max as a strange new disease begins spreading, turning ordinary people into zombies. Stick around to the end for a surprising twist that will drive home the importance of being prepared for any emergency. Included in the novel is a Preparedness Checklist so that readers can get their family, workplace, or school ready before disaster strikes. ”

View the entire document here.  Found via Laughing Squid.

Aside from guns and ammo, one thing you’re going to need after Z-day is FOOD. Growing food is pretty easy so long as you provide proper watering and keep pests out of the garden. One thing that you have to consider is food preservation. Sure, you can grow enough food in the summer to last all year, but how are you going to preserve it to last all year without spoiling?

One way is drying it in the sun, or Solar Drying. The oldest known method of food preservation is drying food using the heat from the sun. Unfortunately it has become the least used as freezers and pressure canners have taken its place. While these methods of food preservation are certainly effective, they have drawbacks when compared to solar food drying.

Freezing is quick and easy but requires purchasing an expensive freezer if you don’t already own one. It also requires electricity (or other form of energy) to operate. Unless you are “off-the-grid,” a power outage can result in food loss.

Canning food requires more work than freezing but is generally unaffected by power outages. The initial expense of getting started can be substantial if you have to purchase the canner itself and related items like jars, lids, etc., and new lids must be purchased each year. Also, a source of energy is required, (electric, wood, gas, propane, etc.) while preserving, and canned food requires a lot of storage space.

Preserving food by solar drying requires no energy except the heat of the sun. Dried food also requires no energy to maintain it while stored. Related expenses are practically nothing, and little storage space is required. Drying food is easy to do and doesn’t require any special skills or equipment.

Dried food is excellent for hiking and camping because of its light weight and compact size. Several days rations can easily be placed in a backpack or your pockets. Best of all, dried food is delicious and nutritious.

Solar drying basics
Dried food is preserved by its moisture content, or rather the lack of it. It is always better to have food overly dry than not dry enough. Mold, due to inadequate drying, is the main cause of food spoilage while stored.

Climate can affect solar drying. The ideal climate is one with low humidity and bright, strong sunshine. If you live in a humid or rainy area you may wish to dry foods with a dehydrator or in the oven. While drying in this manner will require some form of energy, the other benefits of dried food will still be available to you.

Do not dry your food outside in an area with a lot of traffic or air pollution. Contamination is possible from airborne emissions.

After food is prepared for drying, spread it in a single layer (pieces not touching) on drying trays and place in a sunny spot which permits good air circulation. Turn food daily. Dry strong-flavored or odored foods by themselves.

Drying trays can be made by simply using a frame and covering it with cheesecloth or plastic screen. Stretch tightly and fasten on the back with staples or tacks. A string can be placed across the back for reinforcement to prevent sagging.

Do not use metal screen unless you cover it with cheese cloth. It may contaminate or ruin your food. Window frames, window screens, door frames, or discarded screen doors all make good drying trays. Set the tray on rocks or pieces of wood to permit air circulation from all sides. If insects are a problem while drying, loosely drape cheesecloth or other such fabric over the drying food. Arrange it so it does not touch food or it may stick.

To intensify the heat from the sun, an old window or piece of glass, can be placed above the food on the drying rack, allowing several inches of space for air circulation.

A simple solar dryer can be built from scrap material and an old window. Build a box similar to a gardening cold frame and cover with a piece of glass or plastic. Ventilation holes can be covered with screen to control insects if you wish. If the temperature inside gets too high (over 135-140 degrees F) provide more ventilation by raising the glass top a few inches.

Selecting a warm spot, like a heat reflecting driveway or roof-top, can help also.

Bring your trays inside at night or if rain threatens. Finish drying in the oven or over your heating stove if necessary.

Variables like your particular locality and climate, humidity, heat, and the food itself can affect the length of time it takes for food to dry, so it is impossible to give specifics. The following guidelines offer some dryness indications for particular foods.

Harvest your fruits and vegetables when they are at the peak of flavor. It is better if they are slightly immature than overly ripe.

Never place dried food which is still warm directly into the storage containers. Always let it cool completely first.

Fruits
Wash and dry fruit. Peel if desired and slice thinly. Apples, peaches, and other fruits may darken when exposed to air. This is caused by oxidation which can damage flavor and vitamin content. To prevent oxidation you can dip the fruit slices in a preserving solution. One solution is a salt water dip which is made by adding six tablespoons of pickling salt to one gallon of water. Soak for two to three minutes, then drain. Pat dry. Another solution is two tablespoons of ascorbic acid powder to one quart of lukewarm water. Soak, drain, and dry as above. Commercial fruit preservatives can also be purchased for this purpose.

Fruits are dry when somewhere between leathery and brittle. Drying times are affected by a number of factors, so experience and common sense are the best guides. After sun drying fruit it needs to be “equalized.” Remove from trays and place in a bowl inside the house. Several times per day, for one week, stir the fruit pieces. This will allow any moisture from pieces that are not totally dry to be transferred to those which are overly dry.

Another way to equalize dried fruit is to place it in a paper bag after removing from drying trays. Fold over the top of the bag and hang from the clothesline. Shake gently several times a day for two days.

Fruit leathers
Overripe fruit can be used to make fruit leathers and is actually better than fruit which is at its peak. To prepare fruit for leathers, rinse then turn into puree by grinding, putting through a food mill, or mashing with a potato masher. Remove peels, pits, and seeds. Add fruit juice if necessary until it is of a consistency that will pour. If the fruit is too runny, thicken by cooking over low heat to evaporate water or add a thickener, such as wheat or oat bran.

Sweetening or spices can be added if you choose. Begin by adding only one to two spoons of sweetener since many totally ripe fruits need nothing more. If you are making leathers from light colored fruits such as apples or peaches, heat to almost boiling before beginning to dry. This will help prevent browning.

Fruits can also be combined. Some good combinations are cherries and rhubarb and strawberries and rhubarb. All of the small berries like raspberries, blackberries, and mulberries go well together.

Line a cookie sheet or tray with plastic (don’t use wax paper or foil) or coat with a non-stick vegetable spray or cooking oil. Pour the puree in and spread evenly by tilting the tray or sheet back and forth to spread it out. The thinner and more consistent the thickness, the better and quicker it will dry. One-eighth of an inch thick works well. If it is too thick it may spoil before drying, and if not consistent it will not dry evenly.

When top side is dry, remove from backing and turn over. Let the other side dry. Cut into squares or strips and roll up. Leather which is slightly sticky to touch will keep for about four to six weeks. Leather which is completely dried will keep longer but may be too brittle to roll.

Store leather in airtight containers with plastic wrap or paper between them to prevent sticking. Leather can be used as snacks or dissolved in water and used in any recipe calling for fruit.

Vegetables
Vegetables, like fruits, should be harvested at their peak of flavor. Wash to remove dirt, then prepare for drying by peeling, slicing, etc., as desired.

Controversy abounds over blanching vegetables before drying. Some insist on it, while others feel it is not necessary and successfully preserve without it. To blanch vegetables, steam them over boiling water until they are heated throughout and look translucent when cut with a knife. Remove from steamer and cool immediately with cold running water or plunging into a pan of ice water. Drain, then pat dry with cloth or towel.

Spread on drying trays, as with fruits, and dry in the sun. Most vegetables are dry when they are brittle and will shatter when struck. Slices will snap when bent.

Storing dried food
Often fruit, even when dry, will stick together when stored. A tasty way to help prevent this is by “dusting” before storing. Powdered sugar, spices, or powdered oats can be used as “dust.” Place it in a bag then add fruit and shake to coat the pieces. Dusting fruit leather or placing pieces of paper between the rolls will prevent them from sticking.

Almost anything can be used as a storage container, as long as it has a tight fitting lid. Recycled jars or other containers work well, as well as storage bags or canning jars. If using a metal lid, place a piece of paper between the food and lid. Light causes oxidation, so store the dried food in a dark place or put the containers inside paper bags or a cardboard box to block light. Keep in a cool place.

Storing in small batches is wise. In the event one piece is not dry, it will not ruin the entire batch. Check weekly for signs of mold for the first several weeks. Label the food before storing.

Using dried foods
Add dried vegetables to soups or stews. The liquid will “re-hydrate” them while cooking. They can also be used in casseroles, sauces like spaghetti, and in nearly any recipe requiring vegetables.

Fruits can be eaten as they are for snacks. They can also be “re-hydrated” by soaking or cooking in juice. The warmer the liquid, the quicker the fruit will soak it up. Use dried fruits to stew, in baking, jams, sauces, or for syrups.

Dried foods will keep a minimum of six months in storage under the proper conditions.

Drying meat
Most USDA publications and home economists discourage drying as a means of preserving meat. While canning and freezing is the safest means of preserving meat, drying has been done successfully for centuries.

This is another controversy that you will have to decide for yourself.
Jerky is the most common type of dried meat. Nearly any type of meat can be made into jerky as long as it is parasite-free. Meat which has been frozen, then thaws (as in a power outage), can be made into jerky.
Begin by trimming off any fat or connective tissue. Remove the bone. Cut into strips one-half inch thick or less. You can parboil at this time if you wish, but it is not necessary.
The next step is to soak the meat in a seasoned brine. There are many different recipes for this brine or marinade. The easiest brine is one pound of pickling salt in one gallon water. Some folks prefer a more seasoned brine of spices, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, etc. Experiment to find your favorite. Soak the meat in the brine for 24 hours, then rinse and dry. You can also rub the seasoning in by hand, then wait a few hours and dry. Keep meat cool while it is absorbing the seasoning. Meat is dried like fruit and vegetables. Hang the strips on racks or drape over sticks in an area with good air flow that receives full sunlight. A fire can be built nearby to give the meat a smoked taste and speed drying time if you wish.

Protect from insects with cheese cloth or other such fabric. A recycled “accordian” type clothes drying rack works wonderfully for a drying rack. Since it is mobile, it can be moved close to the fire or brought inside at night so the meat can finish drying. It can also be cleaned with hot soapy water after use. Meat is ready for storage when it is completely dry. It should be somewhat flexible but brittle enough to break when it is bent in half. Store like dried fruit or vegetables. Jerky can be eaten as is or re-hydrated by simmering in broth or water. It can be added to soups, stews, etc.

GUIDELINES FOR FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Food Preparation Dryness test
Apples, pears, peaches: Wash, core, and peel. Cut into 1/4” slices or rings Leathery with no moisture when cut
Apricots, plums: Wash, halve and pit. “Pop” backs. Leathery and pliable. No moisture when cut
Bananas, rhubarb: Peel, slice in thin rounds. Brittle
Berries: Sort, wash, and remove stems. Brittle and hard
Cherries, grapes: Sort and wash. Pit cherries. Slightly sticky, like raisins
Asparagus tips: Wash, blanch 3 minutes. Leathery to brittle
Beans, cabbage, peppers: Wash, chop into small pieces. Blanch 4 minutes Brittle
Broccoli, cauliflower: Wash, trim, and chop. Blanch 3 minutes. Brittle
Carrots: Wash, cut into slices. Blanch 3 minutes. Dry and brittle
Mushrooms: Wash, sort, and slice 1/4″ thick. Dry and brittle
Onions: Remove outer skin, then chop. Brittle
Peas: Shell and sort. Blanch 3 min. Brittle
Squash, zucchini: Wash, peel, remove seeds. Blanch 2 minutes. Leathery and tough
Tomatoes: Scald, chill, and peel. Slice into quarters. Leathery and tough

Another way of preserving food is canning. This is one of the most prevalent methods in use today.
Canning is an important, safe method for preserving food if practiced properly. The canning process involves placing foods in jars or similar containers and heating them to a temperature that destroys micro-organisms that cause food to spoil. During this heating process air is driven out of the jar and as it cools a vacuum seal is formed. This vacuum seal prevents air from getting back into the product bringing with it contaminating micro-organisms.

Safe Canning Methods

There are two safe ways of processing food, the boiling water bath method and the pressure canner method:
The boiling water bath method is safe for tomatoes, fruits, jams, jellies, pickles and other preserves. In this method, jars of food are heated completely covered with boiling water (212°F at sea level) and cooked for a specified amount of time
Pressure canning is the only safe method of preserving vegetables, meats, poultry and seafood. Jars of food are placed in 2 to 3 inches of water in a special pressure cooker which is heated to a temperature of at least 240° F. This temperature can only be reached using the pressure method. A microorganism called Clostridium botulinum is the main reason why pressure processing is necessary. Though the bacterial cells are killed at boiling temperatures, they can form spores that can withstand these temperatures. The spores grow well in low acid foods, in the absence of air, such as in canned low acidic foods like meats and vegetables. When the spores begin to grow, they produce the deadly botulinum toxins(poisons).

The only way to destroy these spores is by pressure cooking the food at a temperature of 240°F, or above, for a specified amount of time depending on the type of food and altitude. Foods that are low acid have a pH of more than 4.6 and because of the danger of botulism, they must be prepared in a pressure canner.
The low acidic foods include:
meats
seafood
poultry
dairy products
all vegetables

High acid foods have a pH of 4.6 or less and contain enough acid so that the Clostridium botulinum spores can not grow and produce their deadly toxin. High acidic foods can be safely canned using the boiling water bath method.
The high acidic foods include:
fruits
properly pickled vegetables
Certain foods like, tomatoes and figs, that have a pH value close to 4.6 need to have acid added to them in order to use the water bath method. This is accomplished by adding lemon juice of citric acid.

Water Bath Canners

A water bath canner is a large cooking pot, with a tight fitting lid and a wire or wooden rack that keeps jars from touching each other. The rack allows the boiling water to flow around and underneath jars for a more even processing of the contents. The rack also keeps jars from bumping each other and cracking or breaking. If a rack is not available, clean cotton dish towels or similar can be used to pack around jars. If a standard canner is not available any large metal container may be used as long as it is deep enough for l to 2 inches of briskly boiling water to cover the jars. The diameter of the canner should be no more than 4 inches wider than the diameter of your stove’s burner to ensure proper heating of all jars. Using a wash kettle that fits over two burners is not recommended because the middle jars do not get enough heat. For an electric range, the canner must have a flat bottom. Outdoor fire pits with a solid grate will also work however close attention is required to insure proper boiling temperature.

Pressure Canners

A pressure canner is a specially-made heavy pot with a lid that can be closed steam-tight. The lid is fitted with a vent (or pet-cock), a dial or weighted pressure gauge and a safety fuse. Newer models have an extra cover-lock as an added precaution. It may or may not have a gasket. The pressure pot also has a rack. Because each type is different, be sure to read the directions for operating.

Jars

Mason jars and Ball jars specifically designed for home canning are best. Commercial mayonnaise jars, baby food and pickle jars should not be used. The mouths of the jars may not be appropriate for the sealing lids and the jars are not made with heavy glass and they are not heat treated.

Jars come in a variety of sizes from half-pint jars to half-gallon jars. Pint and quart Ball jars are the most commonly used sizes and are available in regular and wide-mouth tops. If properly used, jars may be reused indefinitely as long as they are kept in good condition.

Atlas jars should not be used for home preserving and canning.

Jar Lids

Most canning jars sold today use a two piece self-sealing lid which consists of a flat metal disc with a rubber-type sealing compound around one side near the outer edge, and a separate screw-type metal band. The flat lid may only be used once but the screw band can be used over as long as it is cleaned well and does not begin to rust.

Canning Utensils

Helpful items for home canning and preserving:

Jar lifter: essential for easy removal of hot jars.
Jar funnel: helps in pouring and packing of liquid and small food items into canning jars.
Lid wand: magnetized wand for removing treated jar lids from hot water.
Clean cloths: handy to have for wiping jar rims, spills and general cleanup.
Knives: for preparing food.
Narrow, flat rubber spatula: for removing trapped air bubbles before sealing jars.
Timer or clock: for accurate food processing time.
Hot pads
Cutting board
There are also many specialty utensils available like apple slicers, cutting spoons for coring and pit removal, corn cutters and fruit skinners.

Home Recipes

When looking for advice and information on preserving food, try to avoid old pamphlets, outdated cookbooks, untrained celebrities and undocumented food shows on TV. Your best source for current information on research and processing instructions are publications made by the U.S. Food and Agriculture Department, College Cooperative Extension Services and major food processing equipment manufactures.

For those that have not yet heard the news, it looks like World War Z will be making it’s way to theaters in 2012. Here are some details:

It’s coming. World War Z. The long-awaited adaptation of the zombie cult classic is shooting, and will be in theaters late next year. Paramount announced a December 21, 2012 holiday release for World War Z, director Marc Forster’s adaptation of Max Brooks’ novel about a global zombie takeover. This stars Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, James Badge Dale and Bryan Cranston; Pitt is also producing with Plan B partner Dede Gardner, financed by Skydance Productions. This puts the zombie epic up against Disney’s The Lone Ranger and Ang Lee’s Life of Pi that very weekend, plus Tarantino’s Django Unchained on Christmas Day.

Though some claim that the movie will tick off some fans of the book since it will deviate from the book, it is hard not to get excited about a new zombie movie, especially one with a decent budget to get it done.

What so you, ZAC fans?  Will this be one to add to the collection or another failed attempt at a classic?

Obviously some of us get out and exercise more than others, but to what extent do you need to go to be fit enough to survive? Can you run a mile non stop? Can you run it in under 8 minutes? Can you do 50 push ups? 100? What about nutrition? How much food will you need to eat when you’re constantly running for your life?

When you’re doing everything by hand, carrying everything on your back, and constantly on the move you’re going to burn between 2500 and 5000 calories per day. That means your food intake is going to have to go way up. The up shot is, if you’re fat, you’re going to get skinny, assuming you survive that long. The down side is, where are you going to find food to maintain that kind of calorie intake? You’re going to have to learn and work your ass off.

What we want to do here is put together a fitness routine to help people who aren’t “Fit to Fight” get into fighting shape, and to help those who are fit stay in fighting shape. We don’t want any derogatory comments about overweight people. Lets do the right thing and try to help. Below in the comments section, follow the format listed.

Nickname:(What you post as, even though its obviously going to appear on your post)
Height:
Weight:
Fitness Level: (Excellent, Good, So-so, Not good, Bad. For god’s sake, be honest.)
Target Weight:
Fitness Goal: (Like Run a mile non stop, or run 5 miles, or do 50 push ups, ect. You know, make a list.)

After stating this, the community WILL BE SUPPORTIVE, and comment in a manner as to help with fitness suggestions.(Derogatory comments will be deleted, and could possibly lead to a perma-ban.)

In popular zombie media, whether it’s literature, video games or
Hollywood blockbusters, one rule remains in all of them, and it’s “Go
for the head”. A blow to the brain is the only way to neutralize the
zombie. While this may be the case in “magical” zombies, it won’t be
in the case in virus-infected zombies, which also have other
shortcomings.

You do not have to necessarily go for the head. A zombie will still
need oxygen, through blood, to support itself, and food to keep up its
legendary endurance. Defying laws of science, if zombies were to be
taken realistically, its merely impossible. It may not be human,
because it no longer thinks, and is “dead” and decomposing, but its
organs still run, and it is every bit as vulnerable as a normal
person, albeit one that doesn’t feel pain.

Zombies aren’t anywhere close to indestructible. They are constantly
rotting, and in cold
weather, why will stiffen up and their blood temperature will eventually drop
down, and ‘die’, the cells would freze and burst, or may be even
cryogenically preserved. The undead will dry up and shrivel into a
skin bag of bones, and will eventually desiccate in a hot, dry desert
climate (another reason, besides gun laws, that why Texas is ideal).
In a humid environment (D.C. summers, Florida, Southeast Asia,
Hawaii), decomposition will be accelerated, and it will not smell
pleasant, but the zombies’ flesh may be literally fallingoff the bone,
like good barbecue (a bit gross, but true). The choice of humans at
their target also puts them at a distinct advantage. Their only food
source is their top predator and their only method of reproduction.
That’s like a seal trying to get a polar bear to make it a seafood
medley, while it’s trying to have sex with it. Of course, it won’t end
well. A zombie is merely a slow, limping and rotting human, with its
only advantage being its inability to feel pain.

The laws of nature will be upheld on the undead, unless the virus
itself has further purposes. Maybe it photosynthesizes, to produce
glucose to power those never tiring, rotting muscles. Perhaps it
contains an artificial replacement for hemoglobin, allowing the ghoul
to operate even once its blood has dried into dust. This isn’t
possible, yet, with ‘yet’ being the operative term here. Pairing
chlorophyll and hemoglobin with a mind-altering disease, presumably a
prion, and a virus would be extremely difficult, but don’t take my
word for it, I’m not a genetic scientist.

So when the outbreak starts, don’t immediately go for the head,
experiment with body shots.If that fails, use what’s in between their
ears, and destroy what in between theirs.
Written by QAZZY 1-9th

The Zombie Survival Guide daily calendar, while usually a great resource, dropped the ball the other day.  They offered some advice for home defense which involved making a stand on the roof.

The tip for June 10 offered this tidbit: “If you find yourself in a one-story home with no attic, grab whatever supplies you can, take hold of a weapon, and climb onto the roof.” It goes further to say “Remain on the roof for as long as you can, until supplies are exhausted or a rescue patrol arrives.  It may be uncomfortable, but it is your best chance for survival.”

This is flawed thinking.  Not sure about you but getting on the roof of my house is not the easiest thing to do.  The ladder we have is on the lower level, and if that is compromised already by the undead, not sure how you would even get onto the roof.

Additionally, this says “grab whatever supplies you can” when we all know that we should already have a zombie plan and some supplies setup.  As many here would tell you, they already have a roof filled with fully automatic weapons, tanks, and helicopters.  For the average person, know where some type of weapon is and make sure you can easily take it with you.

Lastly, just sitting on the roof waiting is no plan at all.  This does not even account for any of the elements.  What if it is 95 degrees outside?  You really want to sit and bake on the roof of the house?  Since there is no guarantee that a roving rescue patrol will arrive, just sitting on a roof waiting is one of the last things you need to do.

Think about your plan, folks, so something like this doesn’t end up being your only solution.

Stay safe.  Stay informed.  Stay alive.

At some point during the zombie apocalypse, you will be running.  It is just a given fact that it will happen.  Hopefully when you are preparing for the day the undead walk the earth, you are doing so with comfort in mind.  With that said, you need to think about what shoes are best to run in.  Thankfully, RunningShoes.com has put together a great list of shoes that are worth consideration.

Check it out here: “Best Running Shoes for Zombie Apocalypse Survival”.

Stay safe. Stay informed. Stay alive.